There you are, standing at the window watching oak leaves fall from dark boughs, and without your warning your whole body fills with longing for something you can’t name,
something you’ve lost, but never had,
something that your nostalgic for, but yet don’t remember.
You sense a joy so huge that it breaks you, a sorrow so deep it cleanses.
Or in line at a store one day, you turn and look at a child who doesn’t notice you.
The skin on her face curves down flushed and smooth along her cheekbones and creases into delicate folds at her eyes.
There is a wild hope in her eyes, and her beauty pierces you in a way you don’t understand.
Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists
A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food.
A duckling wants to swin: well, there is such a thing as water.
Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex.
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not mean the universe is a fraud…earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing.
How can this be? You might ask.
The answer; You want to go home
The instinct for heaven is just that- homesickness, ancient as night, urgent as daybreak.
All your longings- for the place you grew up, for the taste of the desserts your mom used to make, for the bend in the river where your dad used to take you fishing, or the smell of the baseball field where you grew up- all these longings are homesickness, a wanting in full what all these things ONLY hint at, only prick you with. These are the things seen that conjure in our emotions the the Things Unseen.
–C.S. Lewis & Mark Buchanan
We thirst for something we do not know
Are homesick for somewhere we have never been
Feel a longing, an ache we cannot name
Nothing on Earth can fulfill it
and we feel we are the only ones who carry
this great sadness for somewhere, someplace else
Heaven is the home that we’ve never been
Jesus is the father we’ve never met
yet we yearn, ache for him
and most of us don’t even know who and where we are so homesick for
So you know you have a pretty boring life when the most exciting thing of your day involves homework. :) To elaborate more….biology homework. Over the weekend I had a simple assignment to create a hypothesis and prove or disprove it.
It was actually pretty easy (which is why I procrastinated am doing it the night before it's due). But I decided to ask the question, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll lollipop?" Out of this question, I researched it and came up with my hypothesis, "It takes 500 to 550 licks to get to the center of a lollipop, licking each side equally." Now it was time for the experiment.
On the way home from work, I stopped at the store and picked a large bag of tootsie roll pops. I had to test the theory out multiple times and average out my results. So I brought the pops home and lavishly displayed them on my kitchen counter waiting for my siblings to come running in a sugar frenzy. I am very lucky to have many siblings I can test my science projects on, I thought. ;)
Koda asked for one and so I gave him a red pop, only informing him that he was not allowed to suck it or bite it, had to lick each side equally and had to count each lick. He moaned and groaned and told me he wasn't doing it.
Then Cassidy told me she was sick and refused to do it.
My mom informed me she couldn’t eat any.
And yes, I forgot, Dillon told me he was fasting.
Lo and behold, my dad was fasting too! Something I forgot when I bought my lollipops.
Dawson was my last hope. So I explained the rules to him and tried to help him count. But he ran away and came back an hour later with sticky hands and a number of licks that sounded a little like 2. No way he got to the middle in two licks
Thankfully, Cassidy and Koda came up to me and both informed me that they had decided to help me and had already finished licking their lollipops and had the numbers of licks for me.
But I still had to take out 3 lollipops and lick them myself. Have I ever told you how much I hate tootsie pops? So anyway….after I was done licking them. (It took me like an hour to count all the licks. Total waste of time. And now I have a tongue resembling the color of mud and puke.) I organized my results and made my first picture graph. Which is pretty cool. So overall, my experiment turned out pretty good. Also. I think my teacher will appreciate the picture above on my Science Paper- just so he knows I really got into this project.
So today's "exciting thing" was really not exciting. It was actually more random than anything. But it made me giggle as I watched my sibling all licking lollipops furiously fast and counting aloud. And now I can say, "I know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop!" Oh, what an accomplishment!
So I like to write. I don't know if any of you know that, but I do. And I write....alot. Blogs (duh), books, short stories, poems, plays, random things. I even made up my own language when I was little. I tried in vain to complete the endless novels I started about far away lands, elves and fairies.
Even into my older years I wrote. But I could never finish anything. But finally, last year I completed a short story. It is very morbid- about the world ending. It is a subject I was, and am, interested in. I like apocalyptic stuff. :)
Well today, I was looking over my story and decided to submit it to an online short story competition. I was originally discouraged from doing that because some of the people who had read it did not like my story- saying it was too depressing. But I decided to do it today anyway.
A while back, I submitted it to a second online competition as well. So officially today I have submitted my story to two different competitions. And I'll pray by some miracle, somebody likes them. And if not, at least I tried. If you are interested in reading and giving me your opinion, message me!
So there is my exciting thing for the day. I know....not that exciting. But it's a start. :)
So I have had an idea. I've come to the conclusion that writing a blog is pretty boring. And that reading somebody's blog can be even more boring. So I want to spice it up a bit- make it a tad more exciting.
I am going to start a "project" of sorts. The idea being that every day, I will do something different….something unique. So many people call me "too serious," "organized," "boring." And sometimes, I agree. But I don’t want to agree anymore. So everyday I will do something different and blog about it. I will do something that I have never done before, no matter how small. Something unique, maybe even something I am scared to do.
It doesn’t have to be big. For instance: Instead of not talking to anyone at school, I will talk to tons of different people and make a point to learn all about them. Or Instead of watching TV on Saturdays, I will finish writing my book. Or instead of reading the same book twice, I will release my creativity by trying to paint (no matter how awful it comes out.) Or even nice stuff- like instead of just buying my lunch, I will pay for the customer behind me at the drive thru.
Of course, these things will never give us happiness. Only Christ will keep us fulfilled. But my idea is that there are so many experiences God puts in our lives that we simply pass by. What would it be like if we took more of them? We would probably find whole worlds open to us that we never knew existed. I believe our lives could be transformed into merely mundane lives, to exciting lives where we can experience the gifts God gave us more fully and find the outlet in which he wants us to give back to him.
I will try to write a few times a week and blog about the 'something' I did different every day that week. It may not be important at all or it may be….who knows what situations God will throw me into. But whatever it is, I do not want to say no to an opportunity because of fear….in this project I want to try to do things that scare me- especially if it will benefit somebody else.
If you are reading this, please do not be a boring reader. Follow along. Tell me if my posts are really boring. I promise I'll try to make them more exciting! And comment. Do this project with me! I don't want to be the only one doing random, different stuff everyday.
Do it with me and comment and tell me what crazy, exciting things you did today. Again, I want to do everything for the glory of Jesus…. but God gives me so many opportunities to lead an exciting life and through this "project" of sorts, I want to embrace those opportunities.
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
I was reading a book written by Erwin McManus today. You may have heard of it. The title is, "Seizing your Divine Moment." It's pretty good, and I came across a few quotes which essentially said this --> We tend to put a glass screen between real life and us because the closest we get to fulfilling our life's dreams is watching them. We've accepted our place in life as sideliners…. The essence of spiritual leadership is the one who is willing to take the first step, to follow God first.
It got me thinking to how many of us wake up everyday with no purpose- how many of us just try to make it through the day. The word Christianity isn't a lifestyle, it is just a word we toss around. We have been taught by our culture, by our parents, our peers, that life is to be lived like this. Waking up, working, trying to get by and trying to be happy. Trying, trying, trying. When we collapse in bed at night, we thank God for helping us get through the day. We see our dreams and aspirations but they seem too crazy to achieve. We think that our secret goals are too crazy for normal people like us to actually achieve. And we let them pass us by, slip away until we stop remembering the true dreams Jesus built into us for a specific purpose. Is this supposed to be living? I am beginning to see that it's not what God meant for us at all.
The Bible isn't full of people that just made it through the day. It is full of people that did something, that woke up every morning and were not afraid to have crazy faith- and weren't afraid to act on it! Look at Noah- who was completely scoffed at by all who knew of him. He appeared to be a mad, old man and ended up playing a role in saving the world. Look at Abraham, who left his country to follow God. Look at David, Gideon, Ruth, Esther, Paul. They were not ordinary people. But they were just like you. In fact, you are not just an ordinary person. Did you know that?
And maybe you know that. Maybe you want to live a life of passion for God. Maybe you want to do something crazy and live out your purpose, but you feel you don't know where to begin. I think as Christians we have a tunnel vision misconception that to do something great we have to follow in someone else's footsteps.. But guess what? Their purpose is not your purpose.
Make a new path. God has created you as a new creation, therefore you will not have the same dreams and desires as others. He is calling you to blaze a completely new path in his kingdom. You may be totally terrified that God is calling you to do something completely off the beaten path. You may say "Well why can't I just do this like everyone else? Or that?" And you can, there is no harm in that. But is it your purpose? God wants pioneers, adventurers that are going to pursue him where no one else has gone before. He wants people to step out and be afraid, so that we can make new roads to glorify him.
What dreams and goals have you had since you were little? What gifts has God given you to use that you may only be using halfheartedly? God innately puts into us a desire for his purpose. Sometimes we live it out, but more often than not we forget about it. We think getting this degree is what we want, or working here, or making this salary, etc. But underneath it all, what have you always wanted? God is pursuing you and he has put certain desires in our heart so that we will pursue him.
He is relentless and you will not be fulfilled until you are living your purpose out completely for him. Do not be afraid to have crazy dreams for Jesus. And take the initiative! God gave you a brain, so step out and do what he has called you to do! Sometimes your faith is not going to make sense to other people. Sometimes Christians will not even understand what you do, but your purpose lies beyond them. Your purpose is Jesus.
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
Ok..so there is a huge crowd of people that don't make New Years Resolutions anymore. The idea is that by making them, you kind of jinx yourself into not doing them. But I think it is good to make goals. It is good to have an idea of where you want to be headed. Without this goal set in mind, you tend to stray. And at the end of the year, you wonder how in the world you ended up where you are.
My goal this year is to have fun. To be insanely goofy, risk taking and carefree for Jesus. To be completely open to his calling on my life and able to be spontaneous and fall more in love with Jesus - so much so that I share him with my college friends, people from work and even random everyday people. I want to live life to the fullest this year by choosing Joy. And I don't want to ever be afraid to look like a fool for Jesus again.
As an over planning perfectionist, I tend to over think and over analyze everything. So that is why one of my goals this year is to "have fun." Not the party animal, crazy, dangerous kind of fun. But the kind of fun that enables me to find humor in any situation, spontaneity in everyday things and joy in the hard times. I used to be a goofy, risk-taking, silly girl and I lost that over the years.
School and life have a way of dragging the "adventure" right outta ya. So this year, I will not let MY stuff become the focus. I will try to see past MY stuff to the bigger purpose that I am put here on Earth for. School, work, friends.....can certainly enhance my life, but will never offer me fulfillment. I want to live out my adventure with God's humongous, joyous plan for my life. And in doing so, I want to be able to affect others to be closer to Jesus.
In this New Year, what is your resolution? Is it something that will help you live out the purpose Jesus has for your life?
Hey, friend! I'm Chelsie!
Stay a while and get comfy. <3