Around 3 months pregnant, God prompted me that he wanted us to have Louie at home. I was really afraid and couldn’t imagine what that would be like, but he sent so many signs to confirm we were moving in the right direction that we decided to switch to a midwife.
As we prepared, God brought me @painfreebirth and @christianhypnobirthing to help gift me with a posture of faith. That Louie would be okay and that this was the right time and place to have her at home.
As she approached, I renewed my mind with God’s goodness. With his love for our family. And the idea that he was drawing us into this spiritual encounter to meet our baby together.
Early morning of November 9th, I started feeling small contractions. They weren’t very painful and were 30 minutes apart, so I didn’t think much of them.
By 2pm, they were stronger but still far apart. I debated calling my midwife because I just couldn’t imagine it was real labor. I ended up letting her know that I would keep her posted. My mom came over to help with the girls, but nothing much had changed by 4pm.
It was weird how in control I felt compared to my other births. In the past I always felt like I was drowning in pain. With Louie, I felt on top of the contractions and in control. It’s why I was so confused the whole day if it was real labor 😂 It wasn’t that it was pain free, but the pain was not consuming. It was distant and I felt like I was working together with my body.
Around 530, I felt really emotional. I told Ryan, “if I was in more pain, I’d almost think this was transition.” 😂 I laid down for a while and fell asleep listening to worship. Our midwife got there at 6pm. And the contractions were closer together so I asked her to check my progress.
Literally she exclaimed “girlfriend....you’re at 10 cm! I’m so glad I came when I did.” I burst into tears because I couldn’t believe I had made it to the end. Within minutes, I could feel Louie coming down in my back and my hips.
My family all arrived at the house. And we quickly abandoned our birth pool idea for lack of time and filled up our primary bath tub instead. The next part was INTENSE.
Within a few minutes, the pushing part started. Ryan hopped in the tub with me and wrapped his arms around me. I have never felt closer to him and the way he held onto me the entire birth.
It felt like my body was in a primal mode and my brain had to go elsewhere. My pushing was so strong and uncontrollable feeling. A few times, I had to look around and ask everyone “can I really do this? I don’t think she can fit out but I can’t stop pushing. My body literally won’t listen to me.” 😂 Everyone agreed “you can do it!!”
As she began to come out, I just needed my mom's reassurance that I could do it, so she gave me a huge bear hug. And then her shoulders slid out and it was over!
Ryan caught Louie with our midwife in her amniotic sac. He handed her to me and I fell back against him as we welcomed Louie to our family. (You can see him crying in one of the photos as he gives her to me 😭)
After that, my midwife brought me to the bed where we were able to snuggle Louie. And Amelia and Indy came in to give her all kinds of kisses. They were absolutely in heaven! And I was in heaven that I did it and could just get back in bed with her after. What an incredible experience!
I'm so happy I was able to birth her with a tribe around me. Ryan holding my body, my midwife holding my hand, my sister and sister in law cheering, my dad in the next room with my girls, and finally my mom who held me together for the last push. That was one of the main reasons I wanted a home birth. I needed all my people. I’ve never felt closer to Ryan as he worked through each stage with me, and never felt more powerful and shocked that my body could do something so hard.
What a miraculous, intense, crazy experience! All birth is beautiful, hospital or home. Because in the end, creating a human is God’s powerful act of redemption and we felt that so clearly with Louie.
What is next season for me and my family?
This has been the question I’ve been asking myself a lot the last few months.
I feel like I’ve been in a caterpillar state. The old has felt comfortable. But itchy. And somehow, not right. I‘ve been leaning into God’s presence more and his voice has spoken so clearly that it’s hard to ignore.
He’s asked me to step away from being online in the way I was, especially in my instagram space. A place I’ve found a lot of fulfillment, purpose, influence, and relationships. A place I’ve loved to serve others. I’ve kept it open for so long because I love to help people and for potential business opportunity. But as Surf Girls Design has grown more successful, my personal instagram has just become a secondary job that I cannot justify in our season.
And honestly, as my children get older, my convictions about social media grow stronger. As people try and hand them phones at every turn, I see how easily it can infiltrate our lives and make reality feel off.
As the gatekeeper of my house, I want to teach my kids FIRST how to thrive offline before ever handing them technology. If that is truly my conviction, me following them around with a camera is sending mixed messages. They did not sign up to be mini versions of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Their memories deserve to be memories, not an Instagram strategy. Running a growing account that is completely built on the back of my family’s personal life is not where my heart is. It allows culture to infiltrate our home in a way I'm not comfortable with while my kids are little. I only have a few years of these formative ages and I want every moment of those to be intentional.
I've grown million dollar companies. And I love that they’ve always been an extension of my personal life, not dependent on my personal life. I continually find that when I let a business or a following ride on the back of my personal life, things feel yucky and off for me. The boundaries are necessary for me to live my conviction. And I want to raise children who live out their convictions fully too, even when it doesn’t make sense and runs counter cultural. We’ll teach them how to use social media when it’s appropriate and when they can use it to give back, and not consume. That time is not now.
SO! I’ll still be around, it’ll just be different. You’ll mostly find find me posting about our design and flips on Surf Girls Design! That will be my more active account. You can reach me there or via email. (email@example.com)
I'll probably post sometimes here on our blog. And my instagram personal account will stay up and I’ll share family updates every now and then. But it won’t be a play by play of my life. And that’s okay. I’m sad about it, because part of me loves sharing. But happy, because I know it’s the right and scary choice for us for our season. We will be moving on to 6 acres soon, and much of our time will be full with running a business and cultivating an intentional childhood and family life together on our little homestead.
I hope you will do scary things too and live out your convictions fully, no matter what they may be. It's ok to do new things in different seasons. Hug a real person more and like photos on here less. Get outside. Go for a walk. Find community. Show up in real life. There’s a whole lot of joy waiting there. And maybe you’ll run into me there too.
To my amazing followers who have followed me through many seasons and over many platforms, love you guys forever. ❤️❤️
Hey, friend! I'm Chelsie!
Stay a while and get comfy. <3