Driving

Colors flashed by me as I drove. Colors of a rainy day, a smoke filled sky that reflected in my mood. I was angry, I was hurt, I was reckless. The wet rain ran down my windshield in a cumulation of depressing grays and blacks. The steering wheel was power under my finger tips. 90 miles an hour on a highway was my only strength. I knew I was blowing things out of proportion, making more of an impact then I should, but I didn’t care. My life had been a steady montage of violent storms and my father leaving had been the last straw. Never mind I had just been accepted into the most prestigious college in the state, never mind I had a beautiful girlfriend. The anger that pulsed through my veins overcame every feeling of light in my life. 

It is funny how quickly your life can come to a close. One moment I was a starting player on my football team, the most desirable guy in all of high school, slamming into the opposing team’s players with competitive athleticism. The next moment I was slamming into the side of a car with anything but grace. I had been too busy staring at my phone, sending insulting, hurtful text messages to whoever I could. 

How can a life end this quickly? I would give anything for another chance. The rain made tornadoes around my car as my wheels screamed on the asphalt. I saw the pale face of a young boy turn and look at me through the other car’s window. My anger left me in that moment. His glance contained so much love, so much innocence and I knew in that second that it would be destroyed. 

Slow motion. Liquid red. An iron scent filled my nostrils. A woman’s voice pleaded with God for something. I stared at the ceiling of my car, upside down. Forgive me. Forgive me. Tears streamed down my face and I knew it was over. I twisted my head as much as I could and I realized I was on the bank of a creek, inches away from the water. The other car had not been so lucky, and it was sinking slowly into the water’s edge. A small body was inside and in a rush of love, I decided to choose integrity. I chose to rescue instead of wound. I don’t remember much, except that I had unbuckled my belt and found a way into the other car. I dragged a small baby boy’s body from that sinking vessel. A beautiful woman with a streak of red on her head accepted him from me. She looked like my mother and I suddenly remembered how much I had hurt her.

In the last moment, the little boy’s eyes opened. A deep green that was filled with so much of the love I had never known. I collapsed with relief on the creek’s bank, and the little boy held my calloused hands in his smooth fingers. “Thank you,” he said over and over. I closed my eyes to the light of the sun setting for the last time. I was broken inside and there was no more anger to know. In the final moments of my life, I had done something right. I felt the little boy’s tears on my face and I knew no greater love. And then I faded. I drifted far away from the creek’s bank and my lifeless body. I drifted into a place where love abounds and I watched as that little boy grew up and became one of the greatest men in history.

Redemption had grown from my mistakes. Love had transcended my hate and transformed into freedom.