Okay, okay....not moving anywhere huge. But down the street counts, right? We are so excited to share that we are in the process of buying our first house....eek!
As many of you know, we've hopped around quite a bit since we got married. A tiny apartment was our first home of choice, and then we bought and renovated a camper....which was a blast (and what we really, truly consider 'our first home'), and since returning from our roadtrip, we've lived in a cozy and quaint apartment when we aren't traveling the world. It has been perfect for us, especially because we've been so used to living smaller. Last year, we bought 6 acres to build a one-day farm on. I thought that would be the first move we made, but with a baby coming, rent going up, and the thought of building the perfect farmhouse feeling a little daunting, we decided to wait and buy something to live in and rent out as investment later. Soooo.....we put in an offer and it was accepted on a 3 bedroom in our small Florida town. It's only a few streets over from my parents and siblings, which is awesome. It has the cutest fenced in yard (Darling can finally run!) and an extra bedroom for our soon to be babe. We haven't closed yet and so it's still in process, but I couldn't wait to share the news! The house is a little Florida-y looking, but we are planning on doing some fun, minor renovations to bring in a farmhouse feel before we move in December. Make sure to subscribe on the right to get updates and photos about all of our home renovations. We love sharing our adventures. Can't wait to share more soon! Chelsie
2 Comments
Now that the first trimester is over, I wanted to blog an update to remember all of the wonderful & weird things that happened during these last few months. This is my first pregnancy and reaching the second trimester is such a gift. Not only because I'm hoping the morning sickness will fade, but the pregnancy risk is much lower and something I won't need to continually fear. Praising God for the protection and continual prayers. But the last couple months have been exciting ones! On a hot day in August of 2005, I met Ryan Antos. We were friends at first and then some years later, he told me he liked me. We were 14 years old, little and awkward, but even in those years, we knew we loved each other so. It's been almost 10 years since the day when we confessed our affection to each other. As a teenager, I was terrified of the day we would separate. I was a realistic kid and I knew it had to come....young love never lasts. And so everyday I would write in my journal that if God could give me anything, I would ask for him. At 19 years old, Ryan asked me to marry him and my faithful prayers, scribbled in a worn journal came true. We've been married over 4 years, and it has been everything I could have dreamed. We've walked through hard things like everyone, sure. But I have been loved enough to last me a lifetime and I have loved enough for a lifetime, and to know we still have a lifetime yet to love one another brings me so much joy. In June, we had started to talk about kids, but weren't sure if we were ready yet. We were both really enjoying our careers and adventures. We traveled so much and I had this weird, irrational fear that once a kid came, all of it was over. So we decided that maybe we would wait another year. At the end of June, God woke me up in the middle of night and told me that I needed to start praying for my future baby and for the faith to not believe my irrational fears. I don't often have midnight God experiences (though I wish I did!), so this was pretty significant. So I committed that every morning, I would take a good chunk of prayer time and pray for our one day child and that God would prepare my heart and my faith for that time. I knew there'd be fear, but I prayed an end to the fear that kept stopping me from even considering becoming pregnant. I was praying all of this with 2018 in mind of course, so we weren't taking any big risks and it was all purely for the future. ;) Fast forward 3 weeks.... On a Tuesday night in July....on the way to a photoshoot, I stopped at home because I felt sick. I had a weird thought that I should take a pregnancy test....fully knowing there was no possible way to be pregnant. But lo and behold. I didn't really believe it when I saw it. I thought I had taken it wrong. I kind of just pretended it hadn't happened because I was alone and freaking out, I told my dog, filmed a quick video just in case it was true, and went on my way. When Ryan came home later, I dropped the news, he was so shocked and overjoyed, and then we went to Target, where I took a bunch more tests. All positive. It felt a little surreal. I didn't know how to respond and was just kind of in shock. Especially because only Ryan and I knew what I was praying for. (and of course, I've always prayed for our future kiddos, but this was a much more specific type of prayer that I was coincidentally beginning to pray WHILE I was pregnant). God is cool and weird sometimes. Check out our pregnancy announcement video here. I wish I can say the fear went away after that, but the fear carried on for about 3 weeks. I stuck with my faith prayers and worked through it. I blogged about some of my specific fears and how I conquered them over at this blog post. And I know you never stop being fearful, but I believe in big faith and targeting specific fears that cause anxiety, so that's what I did. This is something I learned after dealing with trauma and I've taught myself (with some help from good friends) how to heal (continually and in every new season) from the kind of fear that crosses into unnatural anxiety. It isn't easy, but it's possible. My fear eased up and faith and confidence started to kick in as we moved forward. Our month was a little crazy after that. 6 days after finding out, I hopped on a plane to host a 500 person event with Trades of Hope and my team. I had many speaking roles and hosting duties, and it was a little overwhelming with my new-found pregnancy and the onslaught of morning sickness. But all of our Compassionate Entrepreneurs were SO sweet to me and made it the BEST experience. A couple months later, we were hit with Hurricane Irma and our entire town shut down for a week. Everyone was hunkering down, boarding up windows, and buying enough junk food to last them to the end of the world. It was a little crazy, but we got through it and were not negatively impacted other then some flooding on our street. Our poor town is still recovering though! Around this time, I began to start to feel super comfortable being pregnant and was starting to really understand my body and it's needs. I found that, at least for me: - I had morning sickness and the throw ups every morning, but it was not as bad as I thought it'd be. Honestly, you get used to everything. As long as I didn't let it interrupt my day and get me down, I could deal with it fine. (TMI: Also, drinking a TON of water as soon as I got up helped me throw up clean and easy without vomiting important calories. I just replaced the water later). - Swallowing and digesting harsher food was a lot harder, so I need to drink water with every meal or I'd get indigestion. (Something I never had before). I wasn't exhausted or overly emotional like many said I'd be. Honestly, other then feeling a little bloated and having morning sickness, I felt pretty much like Chelsie. And I liked that. So far, so good! Not trying to diminish anyone else's experiences, but I like to share the good just in case it encourages someone too. - Gaining weight is a lot harder then everyone told me it'd be, just because of my body type. So I have to intentionally go out of the way to eat more foods. I just really like my fruit, guys! - Exercising helped being sick, but lifting weights made me dizzy so walking helped a TON. - Getting good books to research pregnancy INSTEAD of googling (and seeing all those terrifying, fear mongering things) was SUPER helpful in managing fear. So maybe those will help you! Or maybe they'll just be for me to look back on and remember. ;) Right at the end of the first trimester and the tailend of Hurricane Irma, we hopped on a plane to Washington D.C. I'm helping homeschool my brother this semester (#homeschoolkidsunite) and we planned a fun trip to help him learn some history. (Plus, it was nice escaping to some AC as we were out of power for a good part of the week). So Ryan and I had fun galavanting around D.C., visiting our friend Elisabeth, seeing the historical sites, and visiting Mount Vernon. It was here that I was certain I saw my belly bump for the first time. I'm kind of lanky, so it's hard for others to see, but there is definitely a little something going on. Apparently, I'm now 15 weeks this week, instead of the 14 I thought. We went in for our 2nd appointment and heard the baby's heartbeat again and scheduled our appointment for finding out the gender, which is exciting! Anyway, that's kind of a recap for you and somewhat for me. I want to remember all of my experiences and I love blogging, so I figured I'd let you in on some of the updates as well. For the next few months, we have lots of exciting things planned including a trip to the mountains to see the leaves, a birthday/costume party, a gender reveal party, and a Harry Potter marathon. And of course, we are still adamantly praying in big faith for our baby and all that he/she will be one day. Until the next update. Thanks for reading, sweet friend! Chels P.S. The formatting is wonky in this blog post. I spent forevs trying to fix it and finally gave up, but so sorry if it was weird to read because of it. <3 It's official! We've made it through the first trimester and all is well with our little kiddo. We're not sure yet if it's a boy or girl, so I've lovingly been calling him/her 'baby groot,' a name no one thinks is very cute UNLESS they've seen Guardians of the Galaxy. ;) But the first trimester is no piece of cake. Throwing up every morning while trying to be a girl boss is harder then I thought it would be, so I've got three tips for all those first time millennial moms-to-be.... who are maybe terrified about what is to come or just need some words of encouragement. For me, finding out I was pregnant was a joyous thing. And then the terror set in. I love leading my company, traveling the world, speaking, and showing up for work everyday. Every calling is valuable, but the calling God has put on my life for this season has always been coupled with the business I've helped grow and run. With my pregnancy announcement, I felt this very weird, self imposed doom and pressure that my work and travel days were over. It was a sinking, frightening feeling. (Also, the couple people that have decided to tell me "enjoy this time before the baby comes, because you'll have no time and no life afterwards" may have set me off a bit). After talking to many of my millennial girlfriends, I find that this is a common fear for my age group (an age group that is increasingly pursuing entrepreneurship.... and wants parenthood and entrepreneurship to co-exist.). Our generation's values have shifted a bit and some of us are scared of WHO we have to become in order to be a mother, as it may look different then tradition. But no matter, let me speak truth for a second. YOU are still YOU when you're pregnant and your baby is just a beautiful addition to your life. And if you live as fully YOU while pregnant and after, your baby will be all the better for it. WHO you have to be is exactly YOU. I promise. My mom lived this truth for me. She loved us kiddos with all her heart, but we were a part of her and my dad's sweeping adventure, not the other way around. And I firmly believe that seeing my parents live out their unique them-ness created healthy, happy kids in us. So three things I'm learning and reminding myself of through this wonderful, scary, weird ride: 1. Your pregnancy and mommyhood can look however YOU want it to If you desire to stay home and have the ability to, do it. If your personality was built to work full time, do it. If you want to travel with a baby on your back, go for it. If you're longing to homeschool your kiddos, pursue your calling. My family traveled, ran businesses, homeschooled me, and brought me along on all their adventures. Their life did not stop when I showed up, but they immediately immersed me in the fullness that was them. I was a part of their love story, their adventures, and their passion for this life. And I loved growing up that way. I always felt part of something bigger than myself, and that gave me security and a love for life. Just do you. And don't let anyone else define what it needs to look like. The adventure does not end when a kid comes around. Your story can become sweeter, deeper, and more full. 2. Start creating your own affirmations to speak over yourself. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I was super happy. And then about a week in, the fear set in. I wasn't super maternal...so how could I be a good mom? I work too much and really don't want to stay home....would I mess my kids up? I have an amazing closeness with my husband and don't want it to go away....what if it does? These are all erroneous thoughts that fear tries to plant in our minds. That fear will come and all of us deal with it. But creating 'affirmations' or statements of truth really do help you continually overcome fear. So I sat down and wrote out five affirmations that I repeat to myself everyday. They can be super simple or more complex, but they have to attack the root fear you feel and replace that thought with truth. For me, many of my private ones turn into prayers of faith over my family and child. Some examples: My work ethic, strength, passion, and drivenness will teach my kids how to love their life and work hard for something they love. My adventurous spirit will show my children how to embrace and fully live life. I will make time to do what I love in my career AND spend time with my kids. Traveling will teach them to appreciate this world, love everyone, and to adapt to change. My relationship with Ryan will change and become even deeper and better.... because of what we created together. These are just some examples. I challenge you - whether you're pregnant or just terrified of one day being pregnant (like me) - start creating your own and speaking them over yourself now. 3. Keep the adventure alive through pregnancy It can be tough to still feel fun when you're sick and bloated. But don't stop doing the things you love because of it. Take a ride down to the beach, go hike your favorite national park, have a game night with your husband, go on a mini roadtrip with friends. I have intentionally placed fun things through out the next few months that remind me of who I am and what I love. I love to travel. I love adventure. I love community. And yes, my life will change. But I can still live fully in those things while pregnant and with a child. Keep those little reminders by intentionally planning you-like activities through-out being pregnant. This, just like affirmations, will remind you of who you are and what brings you joy. You millennial mom-to-be (or one day mom to be): Remember that life does not end when you have a kid. You are still you and no one can make you not YOU. You control the way you parent, the way you work, the joy you have, and the life you want. So don't let society or any negative Nancys tell you what kind of 'mom' you have to be.
There is no right way for anyone, but by living as fully yourself while you're pregnant and when you have your baby, you will find so much more joy. And you will teach that precious child how to do and find the same thing. We can do this together, friends. It case you haven't heard, we're pregnant and due in March! We made a goofy video telling some of our friends and family, and we can't wait for this new adventure ahead! Not many people know what I actually do, so I always get a ton of questions about my job. You work at Trades of Hope? What do you do there? What is Trades of Hope? What's a home party? How did you start working there? Do you have a second for me to share a little more, friend? Yes? Okay, sweet. When I was 17, I co-founded Trades of Hope with 3 other incredible women. We empower women out of poverty all over the world. We work with over 13,000 artisans to create handcrafted, fair trade products. Many of these artisans are survivors of abuse, sex trafficking, and severe poverty. Sustainable business is a way for them to grab hold of their destiny and make change for their families and communities. Once here in the United States, these products are sold through Compassionate Entrepreneurs. These Compassionate Entrepreneurs make a percentage of what they sell, helping them feed their family while giving them the opportunity to create sustainable work for artisans worldwide. I've been so privileged to watch this small idea grow from a tiny storage unit to growing over 300% into a national movement. With thousands of artisans and thousands of American women partnering together, we have truly made change for women all over the world. For a good part of the last 7 years, I have served as the V.P. of Operations, along with being a founder. My passion is in helping women become all they were created to be....and I love that systems and processes can be the place that ideas like this fully come alive. I've spoken at colleges all over the United States to young people who ask me the same question - how did you take an idea and make it a reality? There are many answers to that question. Most of that answer is 'with help,' because none of us do anything great alone. But there are a few effective strategies that I had to learn the hard way that have helped me. So, you, yes I'm talking to you! The entrepreneur, you teenager/twenty something with an idea, you dreamer, you party starter and movement maker.....the question I'll answer is how do we truly start a lasting movement? Here are 5 things I believe a movement is built on: 1. How do you meet a need? All great movements are because the world is not how it ought to be. If the world was alright, we would have no need to change it. But alas, this can be a crazy place and we need change makers. Business ideas are so much easier when you care so passionately about that subject. Ask yourself....would you represent your idea even if you hadn't come up with it? If you don't care about your idea enough to sell it, no one else will. If it doesn't solve a need for you and for others, it isn't necessary. You should be the best salesperson for your idea before you expect anyone else to be. And when I say salesperson, I don't mean the beating-people-over-the-head kind. I mean the overflowing-with-joy-and-passion-about-what-you-believe-in kind. Don't expect others to care if all it's about is money. It's gotta be more than that to you. Got this one down? Okay, check! Let's move on. 2. Lasting movements are built on the back of discipline If you are consistently coming up with hundreds of new ideas and forgetting your old ones, nothing will ever be accomplished. If you are going to build a following, a team, or an influence, you've got to stick with something. No one can follow a scattered leader or idea. If you wake up every day with no plan or idea on where you're going, no one else will get there with you. The idea of being an entrepreneur is glamorous. Most of the time, it's you sitting for 15 hours on a computer or in a storage unit packing boxes. But even in the i-haven't-showered-for-days-and-wanna-throw-my-computer-at-a-wall moments, will you stick with it? Can you have the discipline to stick with one idea and not one hundred? Have the strength to wake up in the morning and stay with your plan. If you're all ideas, you are just a dreamer. If you can pair ideas with willpower, you are a true entrepreneur. If you aren't passionate enough about your movement to stick to a plan, show up on time to meetings, go to work everyday, and not quit when it gets hard, you probably don't care enough about it. Sacrifice is always involved, so we have to get used to it and embrace it. It'll make us better. 3. You don't have to know all the answers, but you have to know where to find all the answers We have a phrase at Trades of Hope that I coined for us. It's called scrappy determination. Urban Dictionary defines scrappy as "a person who is little but can really kick some butt." (Ahem, I substituted butt instead of the original word, you're welcome.) But it's true. Scrappy determination is the kind of attitude that says "I know I'm the little guy/girl and don't have all the answers, but I'm not gonna quit until I figure this out." We live in an age with so much knowledge and information. We just need to learn how to utilize it. Within the first year of starting Trades of Hope, I had learned how to make a website, create photoshop graphics, market on facebook, basic software programming, how to write business plans, do basic accounting, and write training material for those that sell our product. Am I genius? Nope. I don't even want to tell you my SAT scores quite honestly. But I know where to get answers. And I'm scrappy. I don't quit. You want to create a movement? Don't quit. Google. Watch youtube videos. Call a buddy who knows how to do that hard thing. Read books. If you consistently know how to get the answers you need, you'll be the little person who can really kick some butt. And you need some butt kickin' powers to start a movement. 4. Start ASAP Stop with excuses. Stop with the 'I'll start when I get my degree, when I study enough, when I develop the perfect business plan, when the wording is perfect.' I was the girl in college who had to get a perfect grade. My husband and I got married before we finished school and he revolutionized my student life when we married. He was a pretty good student too, but he finally told me "CHELSIE, YOU ARE TRYING WAY TOO HARD." I was exhausting myself to get a 100% and was neglecting the other exciting things I could be doing. So I stopped being a perfectionist and I started getting 90s instead of 100s. I enjoyed my life way more and had way more time to spend on my business. Give 80% effort and stop being a perfectionist. Just start. Don't wait until you're ready. Just go. Be efficient with your time and give up dotting the i's and crossing the t's all the time. That just leads to paralysis. Also, many share with me that they could never do what I do because they deal with way more fear. To be honest, fear and anxiety is normal when stepping out. I deal with fear on an almost daily basis. Everyday I am doing something new and scary. Whether it's speaking at the University of San Francisco in front of professors and academics to traveling to remote areas in developing countries, I am consistently very AFRAID. My personality doesn't like change and I'm a worrier. Truthfully, I almost-throw up every time before I speak. I'm an average person. What makes me different and this movement work? I do things even though I am terrified. Stop waiting to be perfect, prepared, and unafraid. It won't ever happen. Do it anyway. 5. Find your community, tribe, family, and those who have your back As stated above, starting anything is terrifying. I'm a Jesus follower, and so I do believe that whenever you are do something great, Satan will attempt to attack you at every turn. Though I'm young and don't always share intimate parts of my life online, I've had to walk some hard journeys the last 5 years especially. When you do anything great, the process is hard, refining, and will try to break you. Stay kind. Stay gracious. And find friends. Nothing great is done alone. Nothing. All of us have pieces to our personality that need a little help and others can stand in that gap for us. Without incredible partners in business, I wouldn't have been able to pull Trades of Hope off on my own. Without team members that believed in the vision, it would have stayed a dream. So if you want to go anywhere, recognize that you aren't a one-woman-show. You need others. So don't belittle them, make them feel dumb, or isolate yourself. Successful movements are created by a bunch of people linking their arms together and saying "we believe in this and can make this world better." So find your people that will walk with you through hardships, call you out when you need a good slap upside the head, pray with you, proof-read your crazy ideas, help you execute your dreams, and pretty much love you even when you stink. (Holly, Gretchen, Elisabeth, & Home team....shout out and I love you ;) I love what I do at Trades of Hope. Truly, it is my dream job. But I believe a dream lives within all of us and I'm passionate about helping other young people live the dreams God has put in their hearts. Have a question about business, entrepreneurship, or living in your calling? Subscribe to this blog or shoot me a question at my contact button above. <3 We celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary yesterday and I love Ryan more than I ever have before. Most years since we've been married, I've made an anniversary video about our year together. In truth, our life is wonderful. But there are hard things and last year, I struggled with how painful life truly can be. Choosing joy didn't feel like an option with what I went through. Through it, Ryan loved me and helped me find a way to see this beauty again. But I make these videos for us every year because, though life can be painful, these moments in the video are what I remember. Even in pain, Ryan has been by my side helping me see this joy, community, and abundant life in everything. And we've together chosen that when we look at life, we will see these things and we will work hard to choose joy. This year we've found so much of this joy in our friends, family, and community. Ryan, thank you for walking with me through darkness and taking my hand toward the light. When I look back, I see the fingerprints of God all over this life. You are the strongest most tender man I know and I am always in awe that somehow you picked me. Even in the hard things, how sweet this life is with you and how full of goodness. I hope you see the absolute joy you bring me through this video. I love you with all my heart. Happy Anniversary. <3 As many of you know, I was one of those homeschooled kiddos. I grew up being asked if I had any friends and people scratching their heads at my outgoing personality. (Homeschoolers generally can be pretty social. :) I'm now in my 20s, have my degree in Business, am married to the love of my life, and co-founded and help run the company Trades of Hope. I've traveled the country in a renovated camper, hiked mountains in Costa Rica, sailed on boats through Thailand, and work to partner with incredible artisans in countries all over the world to help end poverty. In 2016, we helped employ over 13,000 artisans globally. I'm sometimes asked what things I was taught in my homeschooled younger years that helped me on my road in life. While learning the normal things like Math and English, my parents also taught lessons that I believe have been the key to the success in my life. So, in thinking about this question, I came up with 10 lessons I learned from my parents, though there are certainly more. We are never by-products of our own, but comprised of the incredible people that have poured into us. My parents are the kindest, craziest, most full of love people I know and I am honored to be their daughter. These below lessons are things my parents were faithful in teaching me and living out for me, and I truly believe they can bring so much joy to your life. 1. Honor God & others, especially those in your authority This is a lesson I'm still learning. Honor is putting others first and respecting their thoughts, ideas, and contribution to your life. As a strong willed person, honoring those who paved the way before me can be difficult. Bucking authority can be trendy. But I do think, in instances, we're called to honor and serve someone else's vision before we can be entrusted with our own. Mostly because humility is learned in the submitting. Not speaking ill of others, not putting them down in front of others, always giving credit when sharing another's idea, not calling people out or making them look bad, always thanking those who gifted you or allowed you to have a platform. For me, honoring my creator is also so important to this. I do this through honoring the sacrifice he made for me on the cross and the life he has called me to live. When I honor God, honoring people is much easier. 2. Don't burn bridges Don't cut off relationships. There will be those that wrong you and hurt you. Don't intentionally hurt them back. If we are consistently making poor decisions, angering others, and being vindictive, we will have no more bridges to walk over. Apologize often. If you could have ended a relationship better, do it. Don't wait. Life is full of endings. But we don't need to end things with drama, ill intent, and anger. Learn how to end things well. 3. Stay physically & mentally disciplined for long term joy This is something I hid from for a couple of years. I was tired of being disciplined, of saving money, of taking care of my body, my stress level, my actions. And though shirking discipline doesn't always show short term affects, two years later, I was a mess. I learned that peace is actually found through the discipline to make choices for long term joy. By doing my work on time and respecting my authority, I decide that my short term desire of wanting my own way is not more important than the long term joy of loving my job and having it love me back. By being careful about the movies, books, and music I let my mind engage in, I decide that my short term desire for gratification is not more important than a mind that is at peace and free of violence, anger, and morbid thoughts. By controlling how much I am online, I decide that my short term desire to engage and gain a following is not more important than sharing space and time with my husband, family, and those dearest to my heart. Choosing discipline can be frowned upon, many mistaking this for not living in grace and not giving yourself a break. And while there will be moments of time we need to break routine and we will always need grace, choosing to control our thoughts, bodies, and minds can lead to happier and more peaceful lives. 4. Before making decisions & assumptions, especially out of anger, put yourself in another's shoes It's easy to react to other people. But the key of leading anything is to become good at controlling your reaction and understanding that, though your emotions may be valid, the other person's feelings are probably very valid too. We don't live in a world of polar opposites. There is gray and being able to control our decisions and assumptions.... and then filter the perspective of another into them, gives us an incredible way to live in peace with others. 5. Choose to believe that your grass is beautifully green and that there is no other side Positivity is the key to so much. I went through a very dark period in my life where I hated when people would tell me to "choose" joy. And I get that perspective, I really do. After trauma and pain, there is no real immediate solution in choosing. But what I found in dealing with trauma is that choosing is a slow thing and it hurts a lot more than we thought it would. I would go months without knowing if the choosing was working. Something that helped was eliminating social media for a while. I did this so I would stop focusing on what I had lost that others still had, and so I would instead focus on what I actually still did have. I wrote encouragement on my mirrors, on note cards all over my house, I repeated affirmations to myself, and I only put into my mind what would make me feel grateful. And over days, and weeks, and months, step by step, a little light dawned in my heart again. There is always someone that will seem to have a better life. But choosing to live YOUR life in the best possible way YOU can will physically and mentally change your life. Your body will become healthier, because light thoughts produce health. Your relationships will get better, because light attracts people. And you will feel that maybe, just maybe, your life is wonderful even when it's hard. And that those two things don't have to be at odds. 6. Be involved in community
Ryan and I traveled for almost a whole year in a camper, never staying in one place longer than 3 days. It was an exciting time, exploring the entire US, speaking for Trades of Hope, and getting to meet new people. But by the end of our trip, I was drowning in sorrow and grief from things going on in my life and in family. And I was so lonely. I was also confused. Isn't it everyone's dream to travel and see the world? Maybe it is, but it doesn't always feel like a dream. What I realized was that moving every 3 days for almost a year produced in me no real roots or attachments to people. And we are created by God to be in relationship with others. It wasn't until we settled in one area and began intentionally involving ourselves with our friends that I began to heal. God has gifted others with the balm needed to heal your wounds. You simply don't have it within yourself and I promise that you'll need them to teach you to hope and laugh again. 7. Be generous with your time, money, and knowledge Every thing we have is a blessing. Every piece of wisdom and joy, every dollar, every possession. But I believe that these things are not truly ours and that we've been given them to help others. Be generous in everything you do. Give of your time. Give of your encouragement. If you are blessed financially, help others with it. If you are given something, start dreaming of how you can use this gift to help other people. This is one of the greatest lessons my parents lived out for me and it brings such fullness of life. Instead of guarding our 'stuff' and our knowledge, giving away freely also brings freedom to our minds and hearts. 8. Be creatively passionate in whatever you do, doing it with integrity and excellence There's 4 words in this statement that mean something important:
9. Be a safe and balanced place for those around you Balance asks us to lie within the tension of two thoughts. It asks us to guard our thoughts and conversations against extremism. That is not easy and requires constant conflict. The middle ground will always have this tension. But if we are to love all people, we must bridge the gaps in thinking and perspective and help heal divisiveness. This is not just about politics, but in relationships, in work, in groups of people. Don't be quick to take a side, but consider how you can instead stand in the middle to love and heal a divide. 10. Through empathetic learning, act and speak with boldness. In a world where empathy and gentleness are so important, we can fear the power of boldness. We tend to lack the ability to be bold because we foolishly forget empathy and speak without asking for perspective. If we are to be bold in this way, we will certainly look like fools. But IF we hold on to the responsibility of being empathetic, we will be gifted with the ability to speak with power and courage. In fact, not much difference can be done in the world if we turn down the moment to speak and act with confidence. Let your compassion and empathy for others motivate you to speak with boldness and conviction. And choose to do it even when you're afraid. It’s our second anniversary and so much has happened this year. We moved into a camper and started a road trip of the country. Here’s a few pieces of our year we wanted to share with you via video. :) Real moment. In the ways I used to think, in terms of my legalistic, old way of thinking, I am getting worse. I curse more, cry more, drink more, post less ‘Christiany’ quotes, and wonder what the heck I’m doing with my life and why in the world could there possibly be so much pain in this world and ask ‘why, God??’ and 'I don’t understand!’ and “what is the deal!?’ more. (just being honest). In my old ways of thinking, I’ve certainly strayed off the path that leads to righteousness. But in the ways of grace, I am learning that I am becoming whole. The shallow has vanished and all that has been left is the deep anguish of my soul and hallelujah, I can finally be real - I am broken too. For all the anger and confusion and sadness I’ve found in the world, I’ve also learned that loving Jesus is not about becoming good or climbing a metaphorical ladder to purity within the Christian life. My pious, devoted, "good” ways were tainted with a subconscious, subtle striving, a need to please, a need to portray that the standard of a good Christian could be achieved and that my brokenness could be mended by my inner strength. I was left wrecked, having given more than I had, in debt to myself and hopeless that my striving was me running around in a circle.
Then grace came and I was allowed to be vulnerable and too much and not enough and allowed to have a lack and thus allowed to be free. And I feel loved by him. I could weep with the authenticity I can say that with that I could never have understood before. I am not better than I was, but I feel so utterly loved by Jesus that I don’t care anymore. I feel like I actually, genuinely can love others. Because brokenness never goes away and pain exists in the worst way and we never get better in the shallow sense of the word, but we, hand in hand, go deeper into Jesus’ grace. A grace that acknowledges the darkness of life, and how it can really just suck…but a grace that also redeems all things, that mends the brokenness and gives hope and love in the midst. I feel like, even in my whys and confusion and sin, this whole thing makes sense. Pain and anger and sadness and joy and everything that has happened to my family and to me and to everyone makes sense in the light of the cross and grace is all there is. Jesus loves me, this I know and it’s finally all I know and that simplicity brings such peace. Being in one place for such a short amount of time is interesting. You feel detached from your surroundings. Out of place. Never really sure. And you start to notice things.
I was always fascinated by the book about the time traveler's wife. And as we travel on this long road trip, staying in towns for a day or two and then leaving, I identify with her husband. You are always out of place. Everywhere we go, I will never get to know the people there as I wish I could. At every store we visit in every city, I wonder....will I ever meet these people again? Maybe in 20 years, our lives will cross paths and we'll have never known about that time we spoke in the grocery store. So many stories I will miss and that makes me sad. I wonder while at the park in San Francisco, sitting and eating lunch with Ryan, do the guys playing basketball know that we don't belong here? That in 24 hours, I'll be gone from here, whisked away to another town, our lives never intersecting with their own, never making an impact on one another. Another thing about traveling so often - you begin to read people better. You begin to see what the check out guy says over and over at thousands of different coffee shops. You begin to see pain flash in people's eyes when you may have never noticed it before. You begin to watch emotions better, because you need connection and emotion in a life of constant detachment. And you begin to love people more. How could you not? Always watching them. You see them visit their parks, shop with their babies in their neighborhood markets, smoke behind the building with their friends, see them eat breakfast at cafes on Saturday mornings just like I used to do all the way in Florida. You begin to wish you could hear the stories of all people. You begin to feel things for people you saw on the street or at the gas station or at the Starbucks. You want to know them. You want them to know you. There are thousands of them and you see their pain and laughter and joy and you watch them go on first dates in coffee shops, you watch them pump your gas from the window in Oregon, you watch them sit alone in a Panera and gaze out the window in sadness, you watch them walk down the street with lovers, frustratingly pick up their crying children on the sidewalk, you've seen glimpses of them tearing up at a John Green book on the train. And you love them. Traveling so much can make you feel detached, yes. But it can allow you moments where you see the tapestry of life, drawn into full scale. Where you are afforded quiet moments into thousands of people's lives. Moments where you forget about yourself and see each person as they wish to be seen. And how could you not love them? Their pain and sadness and anger and heartbreak and joy. Oh, their joy. They are like you, everywhere, wanting to be loved and walking through anger and growth and laughing at funny movies and drinking too much coffee and having awkward moments and happy moments and struggling with life and hoping, always hoping. I'm not creepy, I don't think. I'm not trying to be. But I watch people, because after tens of thousands of miles, mountains look the same. But people, crafted uniquely and perfectly and flawed and beautiful. They fill me with such joy and I hope that when I go home, I never forget them. Every single one of them. Even the ones I never spoke to. They deserve to be remembered. And in my small, silly little love for them, I am overwhelmed by the love of another who sees us the way we've always wished to be seen, thousands of us, one of us. Even all of us at once in our patterns and even one of us alone in our sorrow. We are different and we are the same and I love you and thank you, whoever you are, for allowing me to glimpse your beauty and pain and quiet moments and fullness of life. |
Hey, friend! I'm Chelsie!
Stay a while and get comfy. <3 Categories
All
Date Archive
December 2021
|