You Were Made For This: on fear, motherhood, and overcoming

2/18/2018

When I was little, my favorite heroine was Joan of Arc. I'm not quite sure why, but I was fascinated by her. I felt like I heard God's voice clearly as a little girl and was also tad 'odd,' so I felt akin to girls that felt misplaced and different. Maybe you relate.

I adored that Joan honored her inner femininity, but never saw her femininity as something to hinder her from God's calling. And for her, his call was to lead an army and fight for what she believed was right. There is one point where someone asks her if she is afraid, and supposedly, she says,

"I am not afraid, for God is with me. I was born for this!"

To live with that kind of passion and belief in what you are doing is seemingly absurd and also wonderful. How much more confident would we be if we approached the scary situations in our life believing that really, truly God had created us for that very thing?

As I got older, I felt called to many things that scared me. Starting businesses as a teenager, trying to build a company growing at a crazy rate, fighting for women's rights worldwide, speaking, traveling, and now having a baby.

Now, none of these things have quite the craziness of becoming a military leader at age 17 like Joan of Arc, but they were scary none-the-less. There have been times (especially in the last year) where I have felt so under-qualified to do what I have felt called to do.

Funny enough, the biggest thing I've ever felt this about has been having a baby. Seems goofy, but I've always had this innate fear that I just wasn't made overly maternal. I'm not even sure why, but getting pregnant has brought out that worst fear in me. Can I still be the woman I want to be - world changer, business owner, traveler, speaker.....and a mom?

Early in my pregnancy, I had to bring this to God and wrestle with it. I felt as if I had to be a different person to be pregnant and become a mom. I know that all the moms out there probably think that it's silly....and of course you can do all of those things! But it was a real fear of mine.

Gently, God told me two very important things:

- Chelsie, how do you want your daughter to feel about herself? Because if you aren't confident in yourself and how God made you, will she be? I want her to love herself, no matter how she is made or what quirky things are a part of her. There are no mistakes, so I have to believe that about how God created me too.

- I made you the way I made you for a reason. Jeremiah 1:5 says that we are known and loved before we are even in the womb. And that from conception, we are set apart for something incredible and specific. How can I say I was not made for this when God carefully created my personality for ALL of the plans he had for me - entrepreneurship AND motherhood? I was made for this.

Maybe it's not motherhood for you. But maybe you are also living in a season that scares you. A calling you've felt since you were little, or a crazy new idea you had just last night, a big business idea, or a step that you need to take in healing. Maybe you are in a situation that you never asked for, something you feel so unqualified to handle. Something that is just plain scary. Know this - you were specifically made to walk through what are walking through and conquer it. You were especially made to do that one thing you've felt tugging on your heart.

No one else. You.

I keep this letterboard (pictured above) in my kitchen every morning.

As I'm making my nutella and toast and OJ, I read it and remind myself of what Joan of Arc said. If I can believe this about myself, I can do anything.

My business - I was made for it. Every piece of my personality, no matter how quirky I feel.

My calling - as scary and unknown as it sometimes feels, there is no one better equipped to do it than me.

My child - I was made for her, formed in MY mother's womb with the exact things God knew I would need to love her and raise her to be a world changer.

God is with us and has designed us for this very moment in history to make a difference and overcome.

You were made for this.

14 Comments

Lois

2/19/2018 12:56:40 pm

You're going to be an amazing mom. Remember, God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called!

Chelsie

2/19/2018 05:30:13 pm

Aww, thank you so much, Lois!

Melonie link

2/19/2018 07:14:36 pm

I needed this right now, so bad! Thank You!

Drea

2/20/2018 03:23:22 pm

You never cease to amaze me Chelsea! Awesome blog. Many thanks!

Shannon Boothman

2/23/2018 09:24:43 am

There seems to be something fundamental to Christianity missing here. It is precisely what provides the most assurance and confidence to trust God and walk in obedience. (After all, God’s plan for the Christian individual is obedience. Obedience {to His Word: SCRIPTURE}is the Christian calling no matter your vocation.) Rather than looking to Joan of Arc, we can look to Christ. This is Paul’s point in the beginning of Philippians 2,” So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” This is not a call to find comfort in ‘self-confidence’ or assuaging your fear with affirmations that “There are no mistakes.” We are not called to bravery, boldness, and fearlessness because of our innate qualities. Anytime we are looking within for assurance, comfort, and bravery we will surely fall short. We are to look to Christ and imitate Him. Throughout the New Testament, this theme is reiterated. Romans 12:1 succinctly reminds us that we are, as Christ did, to come and die. Sacrifice is the theme of the Christian life, not success, self-confidence, or finding a unique destiny God whispers in your ear.

There is a great temptation to be captivated by fear. The flesh wars within us, and we can be tempted to be fearful and anxious no matter the circumstances around us. Perhaps, like you, some woman are scared to embrace their God-given roles as wife and mother, or in the converse some woman may be scared because they are not those things. These sort of fears can often be an overflow of a selfishness that we aren't quick to recognize in ourselves. The antidote is not affirmations of self-worth and feeling particularly curated for whatever situation one is in. We are not to be finding identity in self, rather our identity is in Christ.

Jesus in Matthew 6, commands us not to be anxious or fear: “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Jesus commands us to trust God’s sovereignty over all things. The Christian finds great comfort in walking in obedience in this. It is worthwhile to point out that the reason we can be rid of anxiousness is not because Jesus has a special destiny for us that we must walk through in order to activate the next level of spirituality, joy,or purposefulness. Rather, the comfort we are pointed to continually throughout scripture is the Almighty God’s sovereign ordination of all things. There is no promise of success or comfort but rather the security of the Almighty is with us through all trials and that in all things we are being conformed to the image of his Son. Paul expounds on this in the latter portion of Romans chap

Jaimie Stepro

2/24/2018 02:48:59 am

I hear a lot of repressed fear and bondage in Shannon's post. Chelsie, hope you nor anyone else who read your blog and comments is swayed by this impossible and un-Jesus stance Shannon has taken. I would wager to say Jesus felt intense anxiety fear and dread in the garden and quite possibly other times as well. He can identify with each human emotion because each human emotion in and of itself is not a sin and even if it were, His grace has covered our brokenness. We are human. We fear. We look to each other to get sharpened and encouraged. Motherhood is hard and nearly impossible but for the grace of God. Chelsie I pray you're continually surrounded by supportive people who understand how to extend and envelope you in grace, and Shannon I hope the same for you. One of my favorite verses references the Lord leading gently those with young. He knows the intense learning curve and fears sweet new mama. Hold steady and rest in His love.

Shannon

2/24/2018 10:59:11 am

Jamie, Thank you for attempting to psycho analyze me based on a comment :)

My stance is neither impossible nor un-Christlike. I would appreciate more support behind such assertions and engaging more with the subject.
You bring up an interesting point in regards to Jesus' experience of emotion. This is good. Jesus did in fact experience emotion, but without sinning. We too can be tempted to be overtaken by emotion but resist the temptation and not enter into sin. However, many times our emotions can very easily lead us right into sin. One of my favorite explanations on the role of emotions: " Emotions can be a great servant, but a terrible master." When we are controlled, mastered, or slave to emotions we are in fact in sin. This is why one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control.
Let's be careful not to use grace as an excuse for sin to abound. Paul is deliberate about that in Romans 6. There is grace for us when we are overtaken by fear, selfishness, envy, bitterness, etc but grace leads us to repentance. A Christian should not find grace as a means to remain in sin but the very object that frees us from it.
My point was not that motherhood is easy and that there is no need for encouragement but rather that there is a type of encouragement that we find in Scripture thats spurs the Christian on to sacrifice.
It is very in vogue for Christian women today to assure each other of their sins under the guise of 'vulnerability', 'brokenness', 'being transparent' etc ; we should be ready and willing to encourage each other out of sin. We should want to be corrected and encouraged by sisters in Christ. Proverbs 27:6 comes to mind, " Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

2/25/2018 05:12:41 pm

You are sweet in your encouragement of me, Jamie!

To address Shannon and Jamie’s comments, I know both of ya’lls intent is for Jesus to be uplifted and us to find refuge in him. And I thank you both for loving me and engaging in that to try and point to him.

Shannon, we may not always agree on the best ways to do this or every theological point, but I believe you truly love others and want God’s best for them, despite our differences. Thank you for that. ❤️

Jaimie

2/27/2018 03:05:59 pm

Shannon, you’re welcome ;)
I still disagree with where you’re coming from...I think it’s for the Holy Spirit to convict and not for us to lambast with overwhelming Scripture....when dealing with feelings that involuntarily overcome an individual but are a season, passing etc, I still do not see them as sin/brokenness/weakness. Fear of the unknown but still trusting God to work it out isn’t lack of faith.
All this to say I see Chelsie knows and loves you, which I’m glad of cause strangers who drop these types of comments come off insincere. I don’t have much stomach for debate, because I’m not good at it, so no worries I will not fill the comments up with retorts past this:)
Anyway Chels, you’re not alone! New motherhood is terrifying! 😘

2/27/2018 07:13:52 pm

Love you lots, Jamie! And miss you bunches (I may be out there in June...hoping I can see you!)

2/23/2018 09:51:52 am

Paul expounds on this in the latter portion of Romans chapter 8:
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

In light of Scripture, I would like to encourage you to look to Christ rather than within. What the Lord requires of us is not to find some unique, scary mission and conquer it. Rather He lays out clear directives and requires obedience. We can not achieve perfect obedience because we are corrupted with a sin nature so we look to Christ. This gives us freedom to joyfully obey despite our failure. So perhaps next time you are overtaken with fear of being a mother, try looking to Christ and His Word, lay your life down for the child you have been given.

2/23/2018 10:28:51 am

I agree with all of your scriptural references you mention, and as a Christian, looking to Jesus and the word is something that I do daily (hence quoting scripture in my blog, as I believe in the truth of the word). But even in the Bible, there are examples of faithfulness and truth that serve as inspiration that human flesh can overcome with Christ (Hebrews 11, for example), which is all this blog post was about. Certainly, Christ is my ultimate inspiration, but as the writer does in Hebrews 11, I am drawing inspiration from seeing a mortal and sinful human (Joan) be used by trusting in the Lord. I don’t think finding inspiration is innately wrong, as long as that inspiration rests on Christ working through us. Though I respect our differences of opinion, I would encourage more grace when commenting on other’s post to see the intent and heart.

2/24/2018 11:48:47 am

Chelsie,
Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it! :)
First I would like to apologize that my post came off as lacking grace; I tend to be direct and try to simplify when I write. I was only engaging with the content of the blog post. It would not be acceptable for me to assume intentions on your part. I hope that clarifies things a little bit. I am approaching this on the basis of content not intentions; the only appropriate judgement I can make in regards to intent is that you have the best of intentions in what you post - anything else would be unfair and presumptuous.
I'm happy to hear that you understand the Scriptural support provided and that you are spending time in the Word!
I agree that the Bible is full of examples of faithful men and women who have gone before us, and that we can also find examples in more contemporary eras of history. My main point was not that your example of Joan of Arc was fundamentally flawed because you chose her instead of Jesus as the example. Rather, my main engagement was with the antidote of looking within. "Anytime we are looking within for assurance, comfort, and bravery we will surely fall short."
I should elaborate that I wasn't highlighting Christ as the ultimate example, but pointing to our righteousness being entirely in Him. Theologians call this the doctrine of imputation. When we understand God sees us as righteous through Christ, we are freed from trying to attain righteousness within or through works and can joyfully obey. ( Rachel Jankovic talks about this in relation to mothering in her book Fit to Burst https://www.amazon.com/Fit-Burst-Abundance-Mayhem-Motherhood/dp/1591281288/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1519489863&sr=8-1&keywords=fit+to+burst&dpID=41VxsTk99AL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch - highly recommend).

The type of fear you have talked about in regards to motherhood seem to be directly linked with having to give something up. As a Christian, you are given the answer to this fear throughout Scripture which is why I provided such evidence in my first comment. Laying your life down is the most distinctly Christian thing one can ever do. Doing this in obedience despite your fear, can be a great opportunity to be conformed to the image of Christ (sanctification).

I hope you find this encouraging and would love to continue the dialogue. I actually posted a few months back on one of your first blogs about being pregnant and scared. I included some blogs that were really pointed on this subject - not sure if you ever got around to reading them!

Hoping you are comfortable in your last few weeks of pregnancy :)

2/25/2018 05:08:01 pm

Thanks so much for your response! I appreciate hearing your heart’s intent. It can be hard to know exactly how things are meant via the internet, so thank you for your encouragement and grace. I’ll check those blogs out for sure! ❤️❤️

You Were Made For This: on fear, motherhood, and overcoming

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